Justice League Quarterly #4

Issue Details

Synopsis

"The Sunnie Caper" The Injustice League decide that there is more money to be had by being heroes rather than villains. At the behest of Major Disaster, they decide to adopt the methods of Robin Hood by stealing from the rich and giving to the poor (namely, them). They decide to break into and rob a vault from the compound of a false preacher named Minister Sun. The Mighty Bruce outlines the entire gig for them, and helps them gain entrance to Sun's headquarters. The yield from the vault turns out to be of little value, but upon further inspection, they discover a secret cache of gold bullion. Unfortunately, two of the worshipers living at the compound are actually undercover F.B.I. agents. The Injustice Gang try to haul as much of the gold bricks out of the building as they can while also avoiding gunfire from both the F.B.I. agents as well as Minister Sun's henchmen. Their escape is a never-ending escapade of missteps and pratfalls, but at the end of the day, they succeed in securing at least one gold brick. Their newfound wealth is fleeting however as Cluemaster informs them that he needs the money to pay off a bevy of unpaid traffic fines. "Cracked Ice!" In a New Age street fair, Fire, Oberon, Guy Gardner and Ice are on a double date though Guy remains pessimistic about the whole endeavour - however he gave a General Glory Gloryboy oath that he would do whatever Ice wished all day. The foursome traumatise a psychic with a display of Fire's powers and Guy damages a crystal said to have an entrapped spirit within which Ice makes him buy for her. Also at the fair are Jack Small and Petey the Demon who seek out Maxwell Lord for jobs; they find him being lectured on the demons of drink by General Glory. Inside an Indian restaurant the cracked crystal releases the trapped spirit which possesses Ice and turns her into a towering blue demon. An event that Jack and Petey use to prove their worth; after Guy's attempt to appeal to Ice's human side and tells her that he loves her! Petey recognises her demonic dialect and saves Ice by informing the ice demon of the best way to get home. Max Lord hires Petey as the Justice League International's official supernatural advisor and Jack as a corporate lawyer. In the aftermath, Guy and Ice declare their love for each other and kiss while the others cheer. "CaTales - Food for Thought" Power Girl is having trouble getting her cat to eat the food that she provides. She goes out on numerous shopping trips, bringing back a variety of top-notch food items, but the cat refuses to eat. She even fries up some chicken livers, but still the mangy animal won't eat. Finally, she cracks open a can of "Acme Brand" generic cat food. The smell of it is so foul that it reaches throughout the rest of the building. Naturally, the cat loves it. "CaTales - Saturday Night" The JLE members draw straws to see who is stuck with the duty of bathing Power Girl's cat. Ralph Dibny turns selects the unlucky straw and spends the next four hours and fifty-three minutes struggling to keep the violent animal secure in the bathtub. The cat however, does not appear to be impressed with Ralph's efforts and goes outside to roll around in a garbage can until it feels comfortable again. "CaTales - A Mouse in the House" Sue Dibny spies a mouse in the embassy and begins shrieking. The rest of the team tries to calm her down, but Power Girl's cat sees the mouse and begins chasing after it. Blue Jay, frustrated over not being able to get a decent workout, decides to bait the cat into chasing him around the building instead of the mouse. Jay gets a great workout, but the cat still manages to find the mouse. "CaTales - A Day in the Life" A spy named Mister Biggers has spent six-million to put a video implant into Power Girl's cat so that he can monitor the team's day to day affairs in the hopes of learning their secrets. However, the only video feeds he receives are mundane events, such as Catherine Cobert and Kilowog discussing plumbing problems, Ralph on the telephone with an agent discussing his memoirs, Ice talking about her love life, Blue Jay taking a nap, etc. The cat amuses itself though by turning on the turntable and sitting on the player so that he spins about in a circle until he's dizzy. Six-million dollars well spent.