Amazing Spider-Man #267

Issue Details

Synopsis

THE COMMUTER COMETH! Spider-Man is clinging to the side of a building, lamenting over his recent problems. He is spotted by the Human Torch, who wonders if Spider-Man is back to wearing the alien symbiote again and decides to find out. To test this out, the Torch tosses a small flame past Spider-Man's head. The wall-crawler quickly attacks, but the Torch stops the fight and explains why he did it. He learns that Spider-Man is actually wearing a facsimile of the alien costume made for him out of cloth by the Black Cat. The two travel across the city, and when the Torch compliments Spider-Man for hooking up with the Black Cat, the wall-crawler explains that they just recently broke up. However, Spider-Man isn't feeling well and isn't up for playing catch up and tells the Torch that he is going to call it an early night. However, when the Torch flies off, Spider-Man happens to look into the window of Mister Fred's clothing store and spots a crook robbing the safe. As Spider-Man heads to the building to stop him, the crook, a man named Ron, spots the wall-crawler and tries to think of some way to escape the hero. When Spider-Man enters the building, Ron grabs a nearby mannequin and pretends that it is a hostage. Thinking that Ron has an actual woman as a hostage, Spider-Man keeps his distance until Ron can escape into the subway, tossing his prop side. Spider-Man checks on the "woman" and can't believe that he fell for such an obvious ploy.  The hero quickly runs down into the subway as the thief boards the train. Spider-Man manages to tag him with a spider-tracer but is nabbed by some transit cops for hopping the turnstile, slowing up Spider-Man enough to lose the train. However, the hero is confident that the spider-tracer will soon trip the crook up. Shortly thereafter, at Grand Central Station, Ron changes his clothes with a fresh set of clothes he stashed in a locker and takes a connecting train. While Spider-Man returns home to his apartment to spend the evening by himself, Ron returns to his home in the suburbs where he spends the evening with his wife. The following morning, Peter Parker wakes up and in a sleepy fog goes about his morning routine. All the while Ron sleeps in peacefully. Changing into Spider-Man, the wall-crawler spends most of the day crossing town trying to find the signal from his spider-tracer. He soon realizes that the perp must be outside of the city. The wall-crawler quickly returns to his apartment and digs out his old electronic signal tracker as it has a much longer range than his spider-sense.   Picking up the signal, Spider-Man is drawn out to the edge of the Bronx and discovers that the spider-tracer is actually out in the suburbs. Hopping on a commuter train, Spider-Man follows the signal all the way to the suburb of Scarsdale. Leaping off the train, Spider-Man lands in someone's backyard and is approached by a guard dog. Before the dog can bite the hero, he webs its mouth shut and leaps out of the backyard. There he runs into a little girl playing on the sidewalk. After saying hello, he tries to web-sling but discovers that there are no tall buildings to do so. Instead, he decides to leap across town from the trees, but the first one he leaps into breaks at the trunk sending the wall-crawler crashing to the ground. Spider-Man is then approached by Irving, the head of the local neighborhood watch, and his wife. Irving scolds Spider-Man for destroying the tree and tries to put him under citizens arrest. Spider-Man is so confused by the whole experience that he can't think of anything to do until Irving takes the opportunity to pinch Spider-Man's butt. In response, the wall-crawler webs the couple to the roof of Irving's car and continues on his search.   Spider-Man suddenly sees a city bus passing by and leaps onto the roof to catch a ride. However, it eventually stops and the driver gets out and demands that Spider-Man pay the fare. With no money on him, the bus driver gets back in the bus and drives away, forcing Spider-Man to walk the rest of the way. Since he didn't bring his civilian clothing with him, Spider-Man is stuck walking through the neighborhood wearing his costume under the gawking eyes of the locals. As he passes by a garbage truck, one of the garbage men thanks Spider-Man for saving his sister's life. Wanting to get this done and over with, Spider-Man asks for a lift from the garbage men, but feels nothing but humiliation being driven around in a garbage truck. As Spider-Man gets closer to his destination, Ron begins doing laundry. It's then that Ron finds the spider-tracer and stomps on it. As Spider-Man curses the lost of his signal, he spots Ron trying to escape in his car. Grabbing onto a tree, the wall-crawler tries to snare the car in a spider-web. However, all Spider-Man manages to do is pull off the rear bumper.   Spider-Man tries to run after the car but stops as he happens upon a taxi cab. Although the driver only appears to understand Spanish, he manages to get the driver to follow Ron's car. This chase attracts a police patrol car as well as Irving and his wife who join the chase. Ultimately, the chase ends with the cab crashing into the garbage truck, Spider-Man leaping over Irving and the city bus and forcing Ron to crash his car. With the crook webbed up, Spider-Man watches as the locals all complain about all the things Spider-Man did while in town. The wall-crawler can't wait to get home because he finds the suburbs too hectic for him.